Fashion Autopsy: February 2012

Each and every year, we anticipate the Oscars Red Carpet because really, it is the most important Red Carpet of the year. It's always chock full of disasters. Me likey.

Last night (clearly, while the Fashion Gods were sleeping) Hollywood's take on fashion descended onto the Kodak Theater...and television screens across the world.

The Ugly


Judy Greer in something that only can be described as useless pieces of fabric sewn together to create a useless dress.

She's lucky no one cares.

Some blond thing dating George Overrated Clooney (that's his full name, btw)


Wouldn't be a Red Carpet without a Marchesa Disaster. They're so consistently bad, aren't they?

Everyone on E! Red Carpet last night was saying; 'oh, she's his Oscar!'. Wanted to puke. Mostly all over this fucking hideous excuse for a dress.
Can't wait till she's dumped.

Dorith Mous (overpaid, undernourished Supermodel)


Dorith Mous should know better. But the bigger question here is; 'Who invited this?'

Viola Davis (love her, hate the dress)

Most of the cast from The Help needed some help last night. Viola would have been on 'The Good' list if she knew how to control her 'girls'. The dress is lovely but overall, those tits stole the show. #sadface

Emma Stone (can take her or leave her..mostly leave her)


The dress was bad enough but throw in that pink makeup and you got yourself a whole lotta Ugly.

More proof that Young Hollywood knows shit all about fashion. She looks like she was dressed by her Mother.

Sandra Bullock (don't love her, don't love the dress)

Marchesa saved the worst for last. Sandy B in this frock is painful to look at.

That gold lame thing on that blond amazon thing was the first Marchesa Disaster to hit the Red Carpet. This one came along quite a while later. I was getting worried that there would only be one Marchesa Disaster this year. But, then Sandy showed up. Marchesa never disappoints.

The Not So Bad

Don't know who this is or who she's wearing and I can't be bothered to Google..sorry


I really want to hate this dress but I can't.

If she lost the fringe, I think she would be on every 'Best Dressed' list. You never want your hair to compete with your dress.

Michelle Williams in LV


Great choice for her. Personally, I wouldn't be caught dead in it but it suits her.

This one is growing on me...looks way better today for some reason.

Rooney Mara in Givenchy


She certainly looked better going than coming but I don't hate it.

She reminded me of a young Jennifer Connely last night.
She really should eat something, though.

Natalie Portman in Christian Dior

Interesting designer choice given what happened last year with Galliano going insane.

I guess she wanted to show that there are no hard feelings towards the house of Dior.

Not loving her in this but really, when you have a face like this, do you think she gives two shits about fashion?

#GORGEOUSNESS

Rose Byrne in Vivienne Westwood


I just love her so much, had to blog about her. But, this look is neither here, nor there.

But, she was sporting a Bob to die for last night! Loves me some good Bob.

The Good

UGGIE! From The Artist. What a cutie.

Cameron Diaz in Gucci

Sometimes, when she get's it right, it's magic. Most times though, it's tragic.

Probably the worst actress of her generation but this dress makes up for that...a bit.
She tends to be good at accessorizing though and last night was no exception; she kept it simple and elegant.

Jessica Chastain in McQueen

This dress was too much for her but really, it is a glorious piece of craftsmanship.

I like her even more now for trying to pull off a McQueen this early on in her Red Carpet career.
But really, how much longer will we be caring about her? She's about as exciting as unbuttered toast.

Gwyneth Paltrow in Tom Ford

Perfection

Berenice Bejo in Elie Saab

Gorgeous colour, gorgeous face. Classic and elegant..and French.

Hated the braids, though.

Milla Jovovich in Elie Saab

Probably my fave last night.

When someone steps onto the Red Carpet and all you can say is 'oh my God' that's a pretty good sign that she knows her shit. Milla's no fool. She knows that Elie Saab rarely disappoints.

Final Note:
If you can find a picture of Angelina Jolie from last night that DID NOT include her right leg, I'll give you a million bucks.